Ethics

When you grow up in the church you do the right thing because god wants you to, because the church expects it, because everyone is watching you and will judge you as a mormon.
When do mormon kids, or adults for that matter, ever get taught about ethics and true morality? If we do the wrong thing we blame satan or peer group pressure, we may repent and believe that all is well in the kingdom of god. But it isn't. What about the people we've hurt? What about the harm done? What if what we were doing wasn't "bad" anyway but just some jumped-up rule made by some crazy paedophile years and years ago?
It's interesting, but sometimes the naughtiest kids at school are mormon kids. Why? Because they haven't actually been taught values. They've been fed church propaganda, which tells them that schools are full of gentiles. That it's ok to be sexist and rude so long as you attend church, rock up to a few service projects and vomit your emotional garbage at starve and tell once a month.
I've done things I'm not proud of but at the time I swept them under the carpet of "I was less active at the time" or "I was influenced by others." What's worse is that I've pushed these ridiculous views and idiologies onto others by teaching within the church. What troubles me is the fact that I felt guilty about things for the wrong reason - I let god down, I let the church down, but I didn't worry about the friend I had let down!
I'm so glad I'm out. I just wish I could rewind back and fix things - not like the Butterfly Effect though - just being me back then and knowing what i know now. One thing's for sure I'd have a lot more fun!