When you grow up in the church you do the right thing because god wants you to, because the church expects it, because everyone is watching you and will judge you as a mormon.
When do mormon kids, or adults for that matter, ever get taught about ethics and true morality? If we do the wrong thing we blame satan or peer group pressure, we may repent and believe that all is well in the kingdom of god. But it isn't. What about the people we've hurt? What about the harm done? What if what we were doing wasn't "bad" anyway but just some jumped-up rule made by some crazy paedophile years and years ago?
It's interesting, but sometimes the naughtiest kids at school are mormon kids. Why? Because they haven't actually been taught values. They've been fed church propaganda, which tells them that schools are full of gentiles. That it's ok to be sexist and rude so long as you attend church, rock up to a few service projects and vomit your emotional garbage at starve and tell once a month.
I've done things I'm not proud of but at the time I swept them under the carpet of "I was less active at the time" or "I was influenced by others." What's worse is that I've pushed these ridiculous views and idiologies onto others by teaching within the church. What troubles me is the fact that I felt guilty about things for the wrong reason - I let god down, I let the church down, but I didn't worry about the friend I had let down!
I'm so glad I'm out. I just wish I could rewind back and fix things - not like the Butterfly Effect though - just being me back then and knowing what i know now. One thing's for sure I'd have a lot more fun!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Guilt
I used to teach in the Young Women's Program. I quite liked it, lots of practical stuff and life values. But also the full on Church shit that infiltrates and brainwashes their young minds.
So now to MySpace. My niece has MySpace...so I got one so we could stay in touch..yes I know how to use a phone, but this has pix and goss. (My students found my MySpace so I can't put anything too honest on there if you know what I mean).
Anyway, I looked through Deanne's "Friends" and there were a few people I recognised from the youth program. So now I trawl through their pages looking for clues to see who's escaped the morg and who hasn't. I'm so happy to see beer glasses in hands, nicotine patches, tales of wild nights out....all in the hope that despite my part in their indoctrination they have broken free. Of course many are over the top, which reinforces my belief that the church does an enormous amount of damage because when kids leave they have never learned about moderation or risk minimisation. It's all or nothing for them so they don't know when to stop.
The church sucks..fully
So now to MySpace. My niece has MySpace...so I got one so we could stay in touch..yes I know how to use a phone, but this has pix and goss. (My students found my MySpace so I can't put anything too honest on there if you know what I mean).
Anyway, I looked through Deanne's "Friends" and there were a few people I recognised from the youth program. So now I trawl through their pages looking for clues to see who's escaped the morg and who hasn't. I'm so happy to see beer glasses in hands, nicotine patches, tales of wild nights out....all in the hope that despite my part in their indoctrination they have broken free. Of course many are over the top, which reinforces my belief that the church does an enormous amount of damage because when kids leave they have never learned about moderation or risk minimisation. It's all or nothing for them so they don't know when to stop.
The church sucks..fully
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Sundays- great days
Last Sunday Max the Beagle and I did the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation walk for a cure around Albert Park Lake. This Sunday I'm thinking of going to the Mornington Wine Festival. Often on A Sunday I will head for this hills for breakfast at the Ivy. With the fabulous Spring weather I think I'll start riding my bike again on Sundays and going for long adventures. This year my birthday even falls on a Sunday so I'll be having a few friends around, polishing off some Dolcetto and Syrah or a fine Rhielsing and enjoying a traditionally Ozzie BBQ.
What I won't be doing next Sunday, the Sunday after or any other foreseeable Sunday is getting up and stressing about what to wear that is respectable enough for the morg; no worrying about preparing lessons or doing reading; no dehydration or hunger pains or fear of embarrassing myself at starve and tell; no sitting on hard benches in a cramped room with dreary songs, robot speakers and cheap perfume wafting through the air.
I LOVE Sundays!!!!
What I won't be doing next Sunday, the Sunday after or any other foreseeable Sunday is getting up and stressing about what to wear that is respectable enough for the morg; no worrying about preparing lessons or doing reading; no dehydration or hunger pains or fear of embarrassing myself at starve and tell; no sitting on hard benches in a cramped room with dreary songs, robot speakers and cheap perfume wafting through the air.
I LOVE Sundays!!!!
Conversation with mum
Mum brought me into the church but I definitely surpassed her when it came to being churchy...until I left once and for all and turned into the fabulous "sinner" that I am today. Regular readers may vaguely recall some conversations mum that I have had to cut short when she starts reminiscing about the good old days when we all went to church together (woo what a great time we had!~!!)
Well lately, mum doesn't seem to have been going, and when I say lately it would seem about 6 months. So obviously the TBMs have suddenly started appearing out of the woodwork. When I popped in last week she had a food parcel from her visiting teachers. All good I suppose especially as she doesn't like 2 minute noodles and my step daughter loves them. Then she mentioned that her home teachers had also visited. I looked at the calendar- odd, I think, as usually you get inundated with such visits towards the end of the month when they realise they haven't done their duty this month and need to visit before they have to report back. Yet it was only early in the month.
SO last night she rings a little annoyed. The last four nights she's had four visits, all unannounced and at meal time. Furthermore, she's in the middle of cleaning out the spare room so the place is in chaos and she has to put up with their condescending looks and offers of a working bee at her place (they want to clean her oven and windows next weekend!). To top it all off she thinks they're idiots because when they see the patch of hair growing back on her kitten's side they reel in horror, when she explains its where she's been spayed they freak out because they don't know what this means and even struggle with the term de-sexed (I guess month python was right...every sperm does count)...now mum makes the observation that these people are ignorant because all they think of is church - she mentioned that they started a book club but it turned out all they wanted to read were church books (how many times can you drag out and analyse a Marvellous work and a Wonder before you realise the author is insane???) "We have to live in this world!" she bellows down the phone to me. So at last, I think, she has truly seen the light and I think she's finally told them to leave her alone. Then she tells me not to drop by on Sunday as she's going to conference.
Well lately, mum doesn't seem to have been going, and when I say lately it would seem about 6 months. So obviously the TBMs have suddenly started appearing out of the woodwork. When I popped in last week she had a food parcel from her visiting teachers. All good I suppose especially as she doesn't like 2 minute noodles and my step daughter loves them. Then she mentioned that her home teachers had also visited. I looked at the calendar- odd, I think, as usually you get inundated with such visits towards the end of the month when they realise they haven't done their duty this month and need to visit before they have to report back. Yet it was only early in the month.
SO last night she rings a little annoyed. The last four nights she's had four visits, all unannounced and at meal time. Furthermore, she's in the middle of cleaning out the spare room so the place is in chaos and she has to put up with their condescending looks and offers of a working bee at her place (they want to clean her oven and windows next weekend!). To top it all off she thinks they're idiots because when they see the patch of hair growing back on her kitten's side they reel in horror, when she explains its where she's been spayed they freak out because they don't know what this means and even struggle with the term de-sexed (I guess month python was right...every sperm does count)...now mum makes the observation that these people are ignorant because all they think of is church - she mentioned that they started a book club but it turned out all they wanted to read were church books (how many times can you drag out and analyse a Marvellous work and a Wonder before you realise the author is insane???) "We have to live in this world!" she bellows down the phone to me. So at last, I think, she has truly seen the light and I think she's finally told them to leave her alone. Then she tells me not to drop by on Sunday as she's going to conference.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Burma
OK This has nothing to do with my escape from the Morg - but it is to do with freedom. So read it and if you feel you can please sign the petition.
Cheers
Wendy
Dear friends,
Burma's generals have brought their brutal iron hand down on peaceful monks and protesters -- but in response, a massive global outcry is gathering pace. The roar of global public opinion is being heard in hundreds of protests outside Chinese and Burmese embassies, people round the world wearing the monks' color red, and on the internet-- where our petition has exploded to over 200,000 signers in just 72 hours. People power can win this. Burma's powerful sponsor China can halt the crackdown, if it believes that its international reputation and the 2008 Olympics in Beijing depend on it. To convince the Chinese government and other key countries, Avaaz is launching a major global and Asian ad campaign on Wednesday, including full page ads in the Financial Times and other newspapers, that will deliver our message and the number of signers. We need 1 million voices to be the global roar that will get China's attention. If every one of us forwards this email to just 20 friends, we'll reach our target in the next 72 hours.
Please sign the petition at the link below -if you haven't already- and forward this email to everyone you care about: http://www.avaaz.org/en/stand_with_burma/t.php
The pressure is working - already, there are signs of splits in the Burmese Army, as some soldiers refuse to attack their own people. The brutal top General, Than Shwe, has reportedly moved his family out of the country – he must fear his rule may crumble. The Burmese people are showing incredible courage in the face of horror. We're broadcasting updates on our effort over the radio into Burma itself – telling the people that growing numbers of us stand with them. Let's do everything we can to help them – we have hours, not days, to do it. Please sign the petition and forward this email to at least 20 friends right now. Scroll down our petition page for details of times and events to join in the massive wave of demonstrations happening around the world at Burmese and Chinese embassies.
With hope and determination, Ricken, Paul, Pascal, Graziela, Galit, Ben, Milena and the whole Avaaz Team
Cheers
Wendy
Dear friends,
Burma's generals have brought their brutal iron hand down on peaceful monks and protesters -- but in response, a massive global outcry is gathering pace. The roar of global public opinion is being heard in hundreds of protests outside Chinese and Burmese embassies, people round the world wearing the monks' color red, and on the internet-- where our petition has exploded to over 200,000 signers in just 72 hours. People power can win this. Burma's powerful sponsor China can halt the crackdown, if it believes that its international reputation and the 2008 Olympics in Beijing depend on it. To convince the Chinese government and other key countries, Avaaz is launching a major global and Asian ad campaign on Wednesday, including full page ads in the Financial Times and other newspapers, that will deliver our message and the number of signers. We need 1 million voices to be the global roar that will get China's attention. If every one of us forwards this email to just 20 friends, we'll reach our target in the next 72 hours.
Please sign the petition at the link below -if you haven't already- and forward this email to everyone you care about: http://www.avaaz.org/en/stand_with_burma/t.php
The pressure is working - already, there are signs of splits in the Burmese Army, as some soldiers refuse to attack their own people. The brutal top General, Than Shwe, has reportedly moved his family out of the country – he must fear his rule may crumble. The Burmese people are showing incredible courage in the face of horror. We're broadcasting updates on our effort over the radio into Burma itself – telling the people that growing numbers of us stand with them. Let's do everything we can to help them – we have hours, not days, to do it. Please sign the petition and forward this email to at least 20 friends right now. Scroll down our petition page for details of times and events to join in the massive wave of demonstrations happening around the world at Burmese and Chinese embassies.
With hope and determination, Ricken, Paul, Pascal, Graziela, Galit, Ben, Milena and the whole Avaaz Team
Monday, September 24, 2007
Tithing
There is so much I could say about tithing. Like all those times as a child that I put 10 cents in an envelope because I'd received $1.00 pocket money that week and would think what a good little girl am I!
Then there's the stacks of money I put in when I was a struggling student. At least later in life I discovered I could claim it back on my tax (I'm surprised they don't ask for your tax refun too!) but there was still plenty of other things i could have done with it.
How about the useless rhetoric they would spoon feed us whenever we dared question tithing..."think of it as fire insurance!" or "well think of the money you're saving because thanks to the church you don't smoke" (like putting toxic shit in my lungs was ever going to be an option!)
And now for why I'm thinking about tithing. The other day my BF and I were watching part of the concert for Diana - for some reason my atheist man loves Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat - so we're watching that bit and I happened to mention that Johnny Osmond was a mormon but I think he got out. He of course refuses to believe me because how could someone Aaron liked as a kid possibly be a mormon??? So that evening when visiting my still faithful mum Aaron asks her is Johnny Osmond a mormon. She gets a bit defensive but then says "think of all the tithing!!" like that's what it means to be a mormon and rich.
I'd like to think she's missed the point - but actually she hasn't.
Then there's the stacks of money I put in when I was a struggling student. At least later in life I discovered I could claim it back on my tax (I'm surprised they don't ask for your tax refun too!) but there was still plenty of other things i could have done with it.
How about the useless rhetoric they would spoon feed us whenever we dared question tithing..."think of it as fire insurance!" or "well think of the money you're saving because thanks to the church you don't smoke" (like putting toxic shit in my lungs was ever going to be an option!)
And now for why I'm thinking about tithing. The other day my BF and I were watching part of the concert for Diana - for some reason my atheist man loves Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat - so we're watching that bit and I happened to mention that Johnny Osmond was a mormon but I think he got out. He of course refuses to believe me because how could someone Aaron liked as a kid possibly be a mormon??? So that evening when visiting my still faithful mum Aaron asks her is Johnny Osmond a mormon. She gets a bit defensive but then says "think of all the tithing!!" like that's what it means to be a mormon and rich.
I'd like to think she's missed the point - but actually she hasn't.
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